Why you should stop saying, “my child is bad”

LaTanya Blackmon,CPLC

So many parents have feelings of discouragement when it comes to their child’s negative or disruptive behavior. Because of this, they often make statements such as; “my child is bad” or “my child is hard-headed”. Does this bring comfort to a mother or father to say that their child is bad? Does this bring comfort to a child to hear that he is bad?
When you speak these words whether you’re gathering with your friends, on the phone or just speaking in general; you may think that your child is not listening or is too young to understand; however those words are manifesting into your child’s spirit. The tone in your voice and the expression on your face also gives validity to what you are saying. Telling your children, “You are bad” opposed to informing them that their actions are inappropriate, makes the difference in how the child views himself. It is better to explain to a child what he/she did was not good and that there may be consequences for it.

Nonetheless, what you say is important to your child. It will affect their self-esteem and the way they look at life. A child should not grow thinking they are a bad person because that’s what mom and dad has told them. The way they respond to others in addition to their daily actions will be fostered by how they see themselves.
Parents need to be careful of the words they speak to their children and about their children. What will telling your child he/she is bad, do for them? They will begin to believe what you are telling them. Besides, you are their parent and they do look up to you. When speaking about your children or to your children, you should speak words of life and strength. Change your mindset and you will change your child’s mindset.

If you want to send a positive message, then you should reevaluate what you think about and what you speak about. Furthermore, if you believe that your child is bad then what does that say about you? Overall, it is important that parents understand what is going on inside of them. You may be irritated or had a difficult day. That’s ok, but get yourself in check before you start to dialogue with your child. It will change the way your child sees himself and in evidently, see the world.

Proverbs 18:21 informs us that Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof


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